Exploring Hope

That story of the boy is heart wrenching. It is why I have never turned the other cheek or walked on when I have sensed trouble. I suspect the police in my part of the world practically know me by name. I could not believe that people once ignored the cried for help from a young university student at 2am begging for someone in the local apartments to save him. It woke me and i tried to see in the night what was happening as it sounded like it was almost outside my window. I could not see through the dark and the trees. But I heard three guys chasing a 4th and I know the sound of a man crying out when he gets stabbed. I will never forget it. 911 was called by me at the first disturbance and then again when I was pretty sure the man was stabbed. My husband and I were out the door with the 8D cell mag lights (they make effective weapons if you need them to be). I was still on the line with 911 as they asked if I could see or identify anyone without getting directly involved in the conflict. I could not, but I did identify the truck in the yard. One of the three men were captured on his way back to the truck. The other two had fled who knew where when police arrived and intervened. The stabbed man had made a run, though did not get far. Police found him and took him to hospital as he was shaking and crying out that they were going to kill him. We were thanked by police. Though several people in my building stuck their heads from windows too, no one called 911 or came out to see if they could help anyone. I will never stand by and just let something happen. I might be someone's last hope for life. I pray if I am ever in that situation, that I am not ignored. I live my life with this knowledge and follow a path many consider a warriors path. Someone once warned me, "Don't get involved. It could make trouble for you." The last time someone didn't get involved... one of my students was raped. This is what the world and our community is coming to. And i will not just stand by... ever.

On the issue of organized religions diminishing in numbers, I recounted the same information in Canada while working on my Masters Thesis about Pagan Conversion with the theory that people are moving away from these faiths because they are no longer meeting their needs, their spiritual needs, no longer providing them with the sense of spiritual safety and security and hope. And yet Paganism is still growing. I speculate because of its evolving nature as a living religion, they it is constantly adapting to meet the needs of the people at any given time.

I agree with the statements that we have come a long way through anti-defamation as we have established ourselves. But we ARE here, we ARE established. We are ready for the next step. I like to quote Robert Frost and use his line of poetry much like a mantra:

"And I... I took the road less traveled. And that has made all the difference."

I have thus taken a stand in our community as one of the leaders. I run a school so that people looking for training can find it without being locked into a coven until they really feel ready for that step or commitment. I founded organizations (Concordia University Pagan Society and Montreal Pagan Resource Center) to provide places for people to gather and share and grow in safety, and for those seeking to find information. I serve Concordia University whenever they call upon me in the Multifaith Chaplaincy. I have run public rituals for almost 10 years. Now I own the local shop (The Magical Blend) that has served the community since 1991. And I am not the only one who is there for people. We are called to service, as leaders, as clergy, as many other things... to our community.

Now I speak at colleges and universities about paganism and ritual. And every time I do, someone from the class comes to me and tells me this is what they believe and asks where they can find out more. Being a warrior does not always mean being a fighter, it means being willing to stand up and talk, being the one in the background to protect a group, being there when someone needs you without turning a blind eye.

When Officers of Avalon came into being, I rejoiced! because finally there was a public group involved in a warrior path. A group that was responsible and respectful and was not going to just be blown away with the next wind. Wiccan Warrior (the book) could no longer be ignored as a valid path in Paganism. I lamented, because Officers of Avalon was restricted to those in the fields of Duty. I wanted to join!! But I was not military or police or fire department... not even an EMT. All I could do at that time was wait and hope for something to come about. In the meantime. I forged onward in my own paths.

This presentation on Hope moved on to discussing the Wiccan Rede how so many fixate on the "An it harm none" aspect which does not give much room for warriors who might have to do harm in the line of duty. While the slides go on to discuss the part "do what thou wilt", I find there is a better line.

Bide the Wiccan Rede you must

In perfect love and perfect trust

Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

An ye harm none, do what ye will

Lest in thy self-defense it be

Ever mind the rule of three

Follow this with mind and heart

And merry ye meet and merry ye part.

This version of the rede was written anonymously in the 1980's. It is the version I was taught to memorize and understand that the self-defense part meant not just protecting your personal self, but those others that are part of your circles ad families that cannot defend themselves, those that depend on you. Today, I cannot find this version of the rede anywhere. But I will never forget it or its meaning. With great power come great responsibility. It is a double-edged blade, like the athame, like any knife. It is about mastering yourself, self-control, and self-responsibility... as well as service.

“You begin by taking responsibility for your life and everything in it.  This is part of coming into your power.  You cannot be a victim, the pawn of others’ schemes and the plaything of fate, and be a magician too.  Accustom yourself to the idea that everything in your life- every event, relationship, thought and material object- is there because you chose it.”[i]
[i].  Amber K.  (1990).  True Magick: A Beginner’s Guide, pg 65.

She could not have captured the sentiment any more clearly.

When asked in the slides to name famous award winners and achievers and heroes, I too could not without digging out reference material. In a way, I was shamed. But it is true, so few of them have touched my life or the lives of those around me. But i could sure name great unsung heroes in my life. Let me answer the questions of slide 29... because these people are important to me and someone should sing out their praises and accomplishments:

1- teachers who helped me in school: Old Mrs, MacDonald (grade 2, gave me my first praises and set me on a path of higher grades when the previous teacher declared me unteachable when really I simply had a visual disorder and needed a little extra help for reading), Mary MacDonnell (grade 6, gave me a chance to stand on stage and play a role in theater no one wanted but that i thought spoke volumes of self-sacrifice), Sister Dion Fortune (grade 10, listened to my non-Christian views and suggested I look into my Celtic roots for a better connection to God), Carl Witchel (college, taught the first class about withcraft in a public institution and opened my eyes to a new world giving me names for the things i did in my life), Donald Boisvert (homosexual university professor teaching about sex and religion, has been one of the best guides for someone trying to stand her ground in something that in the early 1990's was not well respected... paganism), and Norma Joseph (Masters degree adviser who encouraged me to not let go to studying Paganism and to push forward to make sure the university saw this field of religion as valid and worthy of study).

2- Three friends: John & Mark (my close friends, coven members, lover and husband respectively) and Robin Stroll who has stuck by me in many of the worst of times as my dearest friend and confident.

3- People who taught me something worthwhile: Mom (living fiercely and independently), Dad (listening quietly and being there when needed no matter what... as well as how to fix things that is so not a girl's job), Robert Frost (whose poetry constantly inspires me), Silver Ravenwolf (coven work), all my students (who each teach me patience and something new all the time)

4- Who have made me feel appreciated: John & Rosanne (who with people in the community through me an appreciation party with a plaque and all), Robin (who never lets me forget that I am loved), Mark my husband (for all the kisses)... and do cats count? Because they always let me know how much they appreciate me. Nothing beats a cat cuddling and purring on you!

5- 5 people I enjoy spending time with: Mark, John, Robin, Ryan, Hesser... and all the staff I work with.

And now we look at the notion of guilt vs. responsibility. I never fed into the whole guilt thing, honestly. I was always taught that we are all ultimately responsible for our own actions and choices. While not everything is a choice, sometimes something happens to us outside of our control. It is a choice how we will handle it.

Living by a code of conduct, my own, is so similar to the Bushido virtues and other codes of chivalry that finding an order that is both Wiccan and follows these has drawn me here to the order of Scathach.

The story of Tempest Smith had touched me and my sense of honor all over again. I had stirred some  of our community into awareness of her fate and because of this have been involved in any opportunity to educate about our spiritual path to prevent this from becoming someone else's fate. This is partly why the Montreal Pagan Resource Center exists. No seeker is turned away if they need to just sit and talk and feel safe.

Where I cannot teach, I can at least live as an example. It is the best way anyone can teach.

Thus is my exploration of HOPE from the presentation offered by Order of Scathach.